At what point in time should your relationship be defined? Well if you are asking the question then it’s probably now. At some point in the relationship you need to commit to one another enough that you become mutually exclusive. Sometimes the guy may ask you to ‘be his girlfriend’ and other times it just happens and he might introduce you to his friends as his girlfriend.
When a relationship is new it isn’t easy to define it as there is always the risk of rejection. On some occasions, people will enter into a relationship just for a good time with no intention of anything more serious and in this situation it isn’t really defined as anything. At some point, the relationship will either end or move on to become more serious. If you have entered into a relationship on a ‘no strings attached’ basis, then it can be difficult to take the step to change that into a more defined relationship. If the relationship has any hope of building a future together then it needs a change to grow and develop and when it does then it needs to be defined.
But how do you know when to make the move to define the relationship? This might depend on how long you have been dating and also whether you think your partner reciprocate the feelings that you are having. Don’t convince yourself that your partner is really interested in a long term relationship if it obvious that he is only in it for a good time. You need to be realistic otherwise you will just get hurt. If your partner is only in it for a good time and has no intention of becoming more serious, but you are beginning to have stronger feelings toward him, then maybe it’s time to break it off and move on.
If you believe that your partner is also having stronger feelings toward you then you should sit down and talk about your relationship. Discuss your feelings and whether you think this relationship has a future and whether it is time for it to be defined as something more than ‘a fling’.There is no point wasting your time with someone that has no intention of building a future together with you. The longer you stay with him the more it will hurt when he leaves. It takes two people being in love with each other to make a relationship work. Your partner can’t read your mind and may not realize that your feelings for him have grown. You need to be honest and open about your feelings if you want your relationship to be defined.
If it is still very early in the relationship then you don’t want to get too serious too fast. When you feel the time is right and you are developing strong feelings then bring up a conversation about the future and ask him where he thinks you are heading. Some men might be scared off with talk about the future and any mention of commitment and others will be pleased that you asked. Try to read the signs he gives off and don’t jump into a commitment conversation if he isn’t showing any real signs that he wants to be in a committed relationship.
Don’t let anyone string you along in a relationship that has no future. Sit down with your partner and have the discussion so that you know exactly where you stand. You never know, this might just be the push he needs to commit himself to your relationship.
© 2011 – 2012, Dr. Towanna Freeman. All rights reserved.