There’s a small space between resiliency and self-neglect.
It’s a place where many Black and other shades of superwomen dwell. This “strong and independent” persona isn’t developed out of pride or ego, but rather a sense of timely necessity. Passed from generation to generation, this ethos is an unstated gift and “sho-nuff” burden.
At her best, superwoman overcomes great odds to strengthen not only a family, but a community. Attacks on her fortitude and character, invaluable assets in a profoundly misogynistic and racist world, are often ill-informed, insensitive, and misplaced. However, lovingly lifting the banner for self-care among Black women is long overdue. Can you join me in lifting it?
Look, a hard exterior and maybe interior has utility in a cold world but undoubtedly it complicates relationships, and both our physical, spiritual, and mental wellness. What is the real cost of being a superwoman all the time? What happens when superwoman needs help, even mental health help?
Here are some questions to consider. Think about them, pray about them, and see if something as radical as seeking and accepting help are required.
#1. Are you self-harming?
On paper, you look great but you date men who are ridiculous at best. If that same man was dating your girlfriend or sister you would be on a campaign to pull your friend to safety. What about this one? You treat your body like a dumpster, eating anything at anytime. You have no boundaries and are on every committee, organization, and task force you can find. Space doesn’t allow me to name all the ways superwomen harm themselves, Whether through relationships or habits, if this is your pattern, it’s worth resolving and at least understanding. Self-harm ends in self-destruction.
#2. Do you medicate your problems?
A bowl of ice cream can go a long way toward cheering up a taxing day. More seriously, prayer and worship can help us to connect with God and disconnect from an increasingly demanding world. However, if you find that when the going gets tough, you get going …to alcohol, illegal substances, overuse of prescribed substances, and/or toxic relationships, it’s time to re think your “self-care” method. It’s also time to bravely face the underlining issue/s you are avoiding and pacifying. CONTINUE READING