When you are in the act of creating something that you desire for your life, it is important that you have a support system that works well for you. Too often, we share our goals and desires with people who do not champion our efforts and who express their doubts and limiting viewpoints about our plans. They cause us to second guess ourselves and depending on the nature of the relationship, they can even facilitate us thwarting our dreams.
It can be premature to announce to others, a plan that you want to execute before you have thought it through, especially if a major change will occur in your lifestyle, or there is risk involved. While friends and family are wonderful aspects of life, when someone does not see the possibility that you do, they can talk you out of it. They can add to your fears, or bring fear, where there was no fear.
Not everyone close to you can be objective when you want to do something out of the ordinary because they might not do the same if they were in your shoes. They also might be envious of you advancing, and they may have fear of loss of your friendship if your status changes as a result of a step you are initiating. Thus, be very careful with whom you seek guidance in making a significant step. Get in touch with yourself and understand why you are doing something. What are the pros and cons? What are the risks? What are your contingencies or back-up plans if the risks come to pass? In this process,
1. What direction are you getting from your prayerful, contemplative time, first and foremost?
2. Who are the experts at what it is you are seeking to do? Meet with them to fully understand the thing, action, or situation that you are seeking. What do they suggest that you need to do to be fully prepared? How do they suggest you proceed? Given your personal situation, what suggestions do they make for contingencies?
3. Who in your family or friendship base is likely to be your champion for you taking an important step in your life? Who listens, is objective, and does not criticize or belittle your efforts? Maybe, this person(s) is someone you can share your thoughts about the matter.
4. Who will hold you accountable for goals and timelines you set? This can be someone you pay for the service of coaching you. Or, it can be a trusted, friend who is firm and will hold you to do what you set out to accomplish. You can “check in” with him/her at specified intervals (daily, weekly, or set calendar dates). Treat this as you would a business arrangement so that you do not weasel out of keeping your agreements.
5. The obvious, is one’s personal system of self: to set goals; take action, and do what it takes to stretch oneself to be successful. Develop a personal system that adds to one’s self-esteem and that provides inspiration when needed, as well as, that creates joy in daily living regardless of the challenge, or magnitude of the commitment undertaken.
© 2012, Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig. All rights reserved.