There is a powerful drug that many of us are addicted to that is taking over our communities and having a negative impact on many relationships. For some this drug is known as sex, to others it is called making love, and a few call it “f-word”ing. Regardless of what you choose to call it, I view it as the kryptonite to some relationships. Before going any further, I must say that when used properly, sex is a wonderful supplement to a healthy relationship, so please do not think that I am anti-sex.
When I describe sex as the kryptonite to some relationships, I am referring to the fact that once sex is introduced into some relationships, people tend to put less emphasis on creating a proper foundation for their relationship and more energy into getting their sexual healing. This lead to relationships becoming stagnant and the typical end result is the relationship being unsuccessful.
Over the years, I have learned that a lot of people engage in sex very early in their relationships. The problem is that once the sexual line is crossed, a lot of people fail to have full conversations anymore, and many of their interactions become based on physical relations. This is detrimental because for any relationship to grow, there must be proper communication and foundation set into place. You may ask, what is this foundation?
- Spiritual Foundation – Both people must be equally yoked and headed in the same direction spiritually. Having a spiritual foundation creates the grounds for understanding each other’s connection with God, moral values, and ethical values.
- Mental Foundation – Both people must make sure that they are mentally in the same place. If two people are mentally at two different points in their lives, there is a huge chance that the relationship will fail. A part of the mental foundation is making sure that both parties are ready for a relationship and are willing to give 100% towards themselves and the relationship.
- Emotional Foundation – Both people must make sure that they are emotionally invested in each other. Expressing emotions is a big part of setting a foundation because it establishes trust.
The problem is that setting a basic foundation does not occur overnight and it sometimes takes months or years to create. Unfortunately, a lot of people do not have the patience to wait this long to set a foundation and they feel compelled to have sex. I have noticed that some individuals make establishing their physical foundation a priority and they view the other foundational elements as not as important. The truth is that the physical foundation should be the last foundation explored, because once that line is crossed, the rest of the foundations are greatly affected. Remember that if sex is introduced too soon, there is a good chance that your relationship will never grow to be as strong as it could be. Too soon in my opinion is having sex before marriage. Some people may disagree and some may feel they cannot wait this long, but I have always been told that anything worth something is worth waiting. I challenge you to not let sex become the kryptonite to your relationship.
© 2012, Dr. Corey Guyton. All rights reserved.