I lost a dear friend the other day. It was unexpected and excruciating. As I travel across the country to say goodbye to her and her newborn daughter, I am challenged every step of the way about what I really believe about friendship, theology, and emotions. Adversity is the clearest mirror. Although, the temptation is so great to look away from that reflection, we mustn’t. Creating some storyline to make since of this circumstance seems natural. However, I will say to myself the same words I have said to clients in the past, “grief and pain are a reasonable response to losing someone you love.” It is only right to hurt.
I don’t know about you but I have lost a few friends. Each one seemed too young, so promising, and full of life. Each loss called for some type of spiritual recalibration where I was left in a crossroads. I could turn to bitterness and what ifs or I could simply grieve. To grieve deeply, fully, and authentically is a gift. For each person that God gives life has a value, if only due to their majestic connection to God. Not only is death cruel, but it feels disjointed and unnatural. However, it is the contrast between life and death that illuminates the beauty and pricelessness of life itself. I miss the beauty of my friend’s life, her dignity, humor, and compassion but my theology informs me that death is what is temporary.
So with a heavy heart, I will pledge to shed every tear that my eyes feel worthy to fall. Grief cries out to a God full of compassion, to satisfy its thirst. Today, my soul cries out as I grieve with hope. It is a hope that is focused not on today or this life, but rather on a richer, sweeter, and purer future to come.
Until we meet again, Maya….until we meet again.