… Who have RISEN to the occasion:
We are grateful for the efforts you make to minimize the sense of loss our children feel when their fathers aren’t present.
Beyond a check, you are giving your time, energy and emotions to your child(ren). And, even more important is the care that you take in choosing your next mate. A good woman who is willing to love you and your children is someone worth searching (and waiting) for.
… Who are RECKLESS in their escapades:
You are a key reason that we have this situation—well, to be accurate, you are “half” of the reason we have this situation. Not only were you reckless with your reproductive power, you are also reckless in your sexual exploits, in general. Disregarding birth control and “smashing” as you please, it was only a matter of time before your dysfunctional behaviors created the most innocent victims. While you may (or may not) have less children than that now infamous father of 30, your offspring needs more than your last name (if you even gave them that).
We can only hope that you’ll do better going forward and stop making the choices that cause you to make women mothers—but not wives, and that create children—but no families.
…Who are RESPONSIBLE with their “power:”
You deserve pure applause. The fact that you understand the power of being able to make a child has helped you avoid becoming a “babydaddy.” What power? Again, your reproductive power.
Sure, you’ve probably had sex, and perhaps even a few close calls, but ultimately, you haven’t brought a child into this world. In a time when “babymammas,” and “’daddies” are the norm, you have made other choices and we’re a little better off as a result. One less child born outside of wedlock or even a “committed” (but not marital) relationship is one less child to be added to the statistics. Thank you!
In conclusion…
We have to begin to understand the impact of relationships on our lives. When we create situations that require us to co-parent with individuals that we have no solid foundation with, then we are giving our children less than they deserve.
When evaluating a relationship, consider the following business tool, which is called a “SWOT” Analysis. By assessing the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats, we are able to decide how or if we should go forward with our current significant other (or insignificant other).
Co-parenting is not something that should be taken lightly, and it’s a lifelong commitment—whether you like each other or not. If you cannot commit to each other, then creating a third party will only complicate an already complicated situation…and you all deserve more than that.
At the end of the day, baby always makes three…but you don’t have to rush into that equation. Be mindful of your actions, be mature about your decisions, and if all possible, be married when you become parent…having the right partner can do wonders for your parenting skills.
Signed,
Someone who cares about our future!
© 2012, Stephanie McKenzie. All rights reserved.
In addition to her extensive experience in business and marketing, Stephanie is truly passionate about relationships, and the impact they have on our lives. Melding her two loves–business and relationships–she has authored her latest book,“The Business of Dating".
