There comes a time in this journey of life where we have to take time to see if the people that are around us are really FOR US! We try our very best as human beings, living our lives to keep the most supportive, loving, caring, and encouraging people in our inner circle. Unfortunately, sometimes the tall tale of reality reveals to us that the ones that say they support us may really be against us in our efforts of becoming successful.
With the exception of doubt in our abilities to try to make those dreams real, sometimes pure jealously from others with the same opportunities or unadulterated hatred from others show that some people are just not meant for us! We kindly like to call those people HATERS!
Surprisingly, it does not matter if it is your best friend, parent, spouse, children or whomever, haters can come in all shapes, sizes, types, and forms! Why does it seem like those that you help to reach their passions are the FIRST ONES to doubt and hate on your efforts to accomplish your own passions?
We have to start doing an inventory check on those around us, if they are for us or against us in the pursuits of our success. Carrying dead weight from a hating individual can truly kill your dreams, lower your self-esteem, affect your confidence, and drain the energy levels in your life.
We all have HATERS. They usually come with the territory of success! We have all tried to trick ourselves into thinking, “They really care about me and in what I am doing with my life!” However, after a while you just have to be honest with yourself and call a spade a spade and a hater a hater! With that said, how can you deal with the haters, learn how to disconnect yourself from them, and still accomplish your passions that you have in your life?
1. Do Not Take Anyone’s Words For Granted: I learned a long time ago that 80 percent of people’s sarcastic remarks towards you ARE TRUE AND THEY REALLY MEAN IT! Someone may say in a joking manner, “That isn’t going to work” or “I don’t think you are cut out to do that!” then come back with, “Naw, I’m just playing with you” or “You know I’m just joking and kidding around right?” The majority of the time that is how that person REALLY feels about you and your efforts towards your passions. Never blow off a person’s comment towards your dreams because you want the comments and messages that are coming towards you to be 100 percent positive! Reply with a positive and honest comment, letting those individuals know that your passions and dreams are serious and not to be joked with.
2. Know Who And Why You Are Accomplishing Your Passions & Dreams For: You will have a lot of people who are with you when things are well. Your passion is in action, starting to manifest itself, and here come all these folks applauding you but at the same time reaching their hands out to you! They will come with the “I Remember” stories on how they gave you a dollar back in grade school. Then they will share with the world how they knew you from way-back-when now that you are a success; but you know the truth about who was there for you when the money was low, and when you were hurt, upset and all alone. At the end of the road, give credit to those who deserve it. People will be upset with you, feeling that they deserve more credit and praise for your accomplishments. Only you truly know the people who put all their effort into your passion and who pushed you to make those dreams happen.
3. Learn How To Walk Away From People In A Peaceful Manner: Not everyone can go to “glory” with you! When you finally accomplish you passion, not everyone who started on the journey with you will be there in the end. Truth be told, not everyone NEEDS to be there at the end. We have to learn how to kindly break away from those who aren’t there to to a blessing. Some people will feel like you are “blowing them off”, so to speak. We have to be honest and integrate those upfront conversations: “I appreciate you, but I need to start to do this on my own.” You can always be courteous and civil when you see them, but sometimes that relationship needs to cease in order for you to fully put your passion into action!
© 2012 – 2013, John C. Turner. All rights reserved.
John is an author, speaker, higher education professor and adviser that works to encourage people to live towards their greatest dreams and successes.
