The statistics grow more grim by the day. We are experiencing more broken homes, broken families, and for some, even broken hearts. Yet we continue to wander (or drown) in our situations and dilemmas, unclear of our next moves, or uncertain of whose advice to take.
Does this sound familiar?
Well, this next statement won’t make it any easier, because while we could tell you that coaching is the answer (this is BlackLifeCoaches.net, after all), the truth is that coaching cannot help you, either.
Again, I must state that coaching cannot help you, and here are the reasons why:
REASON #1: You don’t think you need any help. You think that you can resolve all of these situations on your own. If you’re African-American and reading this article, your inability to ask for help from an outsider may be caused by the tutelage of numerous “MaDears” and “Big Mamas” who told you not to air your dirty laundry in public. However, in a world where you can announce all kinds of personal information via the Internet, not only are people airing their dirty laundry, but it is starting to smell.
First of all, if you recognize that you need help, it is not about airing this “dirty laundry,” so to speak. Getting help is about having someone who is trained to assist you with formulating a solution to your problem. For me, that means time-sensitive, results-driven conversations about relationship frustrations and aspirations. For others, it means discussing your life or business goals at-length.
Get the picture?
REASON #2: You’re worried about what other people will think. It doesn’t matter what other people will think about your decision to get help for your life. The bigger problem is that not only do those same people stop you from getting help, but they also have inspired you not to take action when needed. Just be honest.
When my father died, I went to grief counseling. While at a family function, I uttered the words, “my therapist says that…” and the entire yard went silent. Most thought that I was joking, but as I went on to explain, they knew this was not one of my very amusing anecdotes. While some were mortified, I didn’t have time to ponder their opinions…I had to do something to help me get better and accept the personal tragedy I had experienced.
I am sure many of you can relate.
Additionally, if we’re going to be honest and transparent, let’s admit in the same breath that while you’re worried about other people will think, you also spend too much time absorbing the opinions of people. These are the ones who do not mean well, or don’t know what they are talking about. You should be able to enjoy the benefits of having an impartial third party help you along your journey.
REASON #3: You cannot afford to get any help. Now I will be first to admit that as a helping professional, coaching does not come cheap, nor is it covered by insurance – for the most part. On the other hand, you cannot afford to continue to make the same mistakes you’ve made over and over again. If that means employing the help of a CERTIFIED relationship coach, a CERTIFIED life coach, a CERTIFIED business coach, or whatever kind of coach you need, put down the Louis Vuittons, the Louboutins, or even your weekly Ross/Marshall’s/TJ Maxx run for a few months and get some things in order. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
Aren’t you worth the sacrifice?
In conclusion, I am not going to end this article with a shameless plug for you to become a new client at WhatTheLove™. What I am going to do is tell you that until you decide that you are worth the effort and that you can change the current state of affairs in your life, you will continue to be a victim instead of a VICTOR!
In my camp, we say, “stop whining…start WINNING!”
Doesn’t that sound awesome?!
© 2012, Stephanie McKenzie. All rights reserved.