How often have you been asked, “Where do you see yourself in three to five years?” While usually a question posed to career-minded professionals and even the newest of college graduates, this can also be a question for those evaluating the state of love in their lives—whether single or not.
The truth is that love – especially true love – is a rare occurrence. Some people find it, some don’t, and some feel as if they never will.
For those who think that they have found it, bravo! For others, it could be months or years before they discover the truth about what they have called, “love.” Before you think I am attacking you and your perfectly-crafted union, let me reiterate that this is a statement about some couples, not all couples. Hang in there, I am going somewhere, I promise.
Here’s some more truth: While two people have founded a relationship, shared physical and emotional intimacies, the love that they profess to share may not be strong enough to bond these individuals in the relationship long-term. After all, how many times have you heard someone say, “I love him or her, but it’s just not working out?” Additionally, how many times have the members of the relationship been together for three to five years…or more?
I will even bet that you wondered why this was the case when they seemed so great together. I wonder where they saw themselves…because I doubt it was where they were. These two people were probably very comfortable in their relationship. As time went on, they began to see the foundation of their coupling develop a few cracks. Though small at first, some went unnoticed, and then there were those that we couldn’t avoid.
Let me see if I can help.
In assessing the foundation of any relationship, we look at a concept we created – Biblical in nature – called “ROCK” and “SAND.”
According to Matthew 7:25-26, a house built on SAND cannot stand. If you didn’t know this before, consider this an introduction to the concept. Some may dismiss the validity of the concept, especially if they are not religious. Even if such is the case, then consider the results of a quick Google search for “house built on sand,” which returned the following image:
Now that my point is clear, let’s get back to the question…sort of.
The truth is, if your relationship is not built on a proper foundation, then looking 3 to 5 years down the road is a futile exercise. Many of us have wasted too much time planning futures, or building houses, if you will, on shaky, faulty and downright unstable foundations.
Just nod.
My suggestion: Before he or she, becomes “we,” perhaps it is best to do a bit self-evaluation. Walking the road alone is a great way to learn about yourself, your goals, your objectives, and what you wish to find in a mate, and marital partner. Knowing these things is key to creating and contributing to a foundation that will give your relationship the longevity that most people desire.
Then again, you could always keep walking the road that you’ve always traveled, and continue to endure the consequences of SAND-y relationships and a lack of understanding regarding who you are and who you need in your life.
As usual, you always have options…so choose wisely. In choosing a person, consider what the road ahead might hold, and if it seems okay with you, then “ROCK” on!
© 2012, Stephanie McKenzie. All rights reserved.
In addition to her extensive experience in business and marketing, Stephanie is truly passionate about relationships, and the impact they have on our lives. Melding her two loves–business and relationships–she has authored her latest book,“The Business of Dating".
