- A relationship built on trust and respect
- A relationship that motivates both people to be better and do better
- A relationship with transparent communication and mutual understanding
- A relationship complete with the highest form of trust
- A relationship that thrives on partnership and suffers in selfishness
- A relationship that fuels laughter
Ahhh yes, the power of love. We should be so fortunate to have experienced it. I can think of nothing more perfect except, wait for it, WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP DESCRIBED IS WITH A COWORKER! Let’s Go There; It is time to divorce your work spouse!
A spouse is defined as someone you have a made a commitment to either before God or other witnesses. Your relationship with your spouse is sacred and a covenant between the two of you is serious. This relationship is built on honesty, trust, transparent communication, and respect. Over time, such is the case between human beings, these feelings can find themselves spilling over to people we work with. It violates the relationship at home and demeans the commitment that was previously made.
So how do you know if you have a work spouse? The following may give a clue;
- If you seek advice from a coworker before you tell your partner at home
- If your coworker is aware of all your disagreements at home and makes you feel better about your side of the issue
- If you find yourself thinking about them long after the work day is over
- If you find yourself anxious to see them first thing in the morning
- If you get butterflies in your stomach when it is announced you may have to travel out of town with a coworker
- If you believe that a social relationship with your coworker would be better than the one you have at home
I have often heard people joking about the issue and even boasting that they have more than one. The concept of a work spouse is not necessarily based on intimacy but it certainly has the potential to lead to it. To say that ending that form of relationship is important because it is wrong would be too simple. Reflect on the following when entering or considering sustaining such a relationship;
- Your work spouse may end up being your boss, and they will not lose their job for you!
- Coworkers are not naïve. They will observe the relationship and assume bias in all dealings with both parties!
- Your real spouse will find out eventually!
- One partner may want to make the relationship intimate adding more drama, stress, and pressure in an already uncomfortable situation.
If your goal is to be considered the ‘most popular’ person in the workplace than by all means have at it with this short-sided goal. If your goal is to seek comfort and support in the eyes of another person, then be mindful of where you seek such feelings from. My wish regarding your leadership is to have you avoid such relationships in the workplace all together. We have no problems as Human Resource professionals with ending such relationships for you. We will leave you to explain to your real spouse the reason you were let go.
© 2012 – 2013, Alonzo M. Kelly. All rights reserved.